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* The Library - Fiction for the Heart *


The Gift
From Soul to Spirit/Heart
pct - 01/21/03
_______

I didn't see you,
till I felt you.
And then it was too late.

My heart heard your wounds singing a mournful song
and oh, how sweetly I loved
I longed to hold you
I wept to comfort you
I felt your pain and I knew it
as raw and deep and death-ridden
as my own.

And oh, how sweetly I longed to bring you
warmth
reassurance
healing
love...

I wanted to bring color to your gray world.
And softness.
Snuggles and soothing kisses and a shoulder to cry on.
I wanted to listen while you cried.

That was the gift I had to offer.

But you would not let me hold you.
You would not let me near your bereft baby boy.
You turned on me with anger and even...

hatred.

Why was I so cruel
to try to make you remember your pain?
Why would anyone
be so stupid and cruel.
Useless tears.
Useless pain.

Useless woman.

This gift I would have brought to our bower,
does not please you...
does not comfort you...
It is of no value to you.
The love I have to give,
is of no value to you.

I grieve to leave you in this grayness.
But my color
my warmth
my comfort
my deep loving arms
are nothing to you.

I grieve to leave you in this grayness.
I grieve to leave you.
I grieve.


________
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