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Personal Sharings / Healing Fragmentation



What Must I Do?


This information is not meant to be used as a tool for guilt to further its agenda on your world. Guilt has hold of this already and has known much more of the truth here than it will be willing to admit.

What must you do with this information, how must you begin to open to needing and being needed?

What must you do?

Nothing but what you are already doing.

Healing your own pain will bring you to your own natural vibration. Enough has been written on the value of vibrating your emotions, and you have all the information you need there. As you vibrate in your own natural state, you will naturally draw to you what you need, what is still missing from your being. That includes parts of you, as well as parts of "other" that carry what you need. You will be drawn together.

Reaching your own natural vibration and as much wholeness as you can achieve will take you to the next step.

I feel fear rising, words floating to the surface that reflect ancient birth terrors. Words like responsibility, burden and sacrifice. Fear of being sucked dry, of having compassion and love used against you to drain you of all your essence. Fear that says if you do not sacrifice, you won't get to heaven.

Do you know what guilt really is? It is a piece of the pushing entity, a piece that was blown off in the very first explosion. It carries its own need and the accompanying need to control need, but it believes it has no integrity of its own, no home. So it attempts to live in others, in anyone it can. It takes up residence and sets about controlling. The more it can control our feelings of need, the better satisfied it is. If it can make you entirely give up your own needs, then it starts to feel safe. It does this by poking at our fears, by setting up scenarios that say you won't get love (won't get YOUR needs met) unless you show how loving you are by giving up your own needs. Arbitrary standards of "lovingness" have been set up as the antithesis of the original need, as if need is the enemy to love instead of its seed, and these so-called "loving" standards act to both mask and suppress need.

Do you see how twisted this all is? How complex it has become? The basic problem is very simple, but the solution will mean wading through many complex forms that the original fears and needs have taken. They have become entirely masked in some cases, but if you look, you will see the feelings lurking there.

What must you do?

Continue to heal all the feelings that come up in your life, just as you are doing now. Meeting each other's needs will come naturally and in a totally unforced way. And this does not necessarily mean in physical ways, although that can be one way of expressing the exchange, as long as it does not remain only a form expression. Making someone a sandwich will only satisfy them for a few hours. The real exchange needs to happen on the essence level, and in order to know how to do this, without causing further damage, you must work on healing your own pain.

I say this because so much damage has already been done in these areas. Essence exchange happens all the time, every day, between people. Every time you have sex with another person, you exchange essence. Family members are constantly trading essence back and forth. Co-workers in disputes often have essence between them in conflict, trying to find its right place. Just going to the grocery store gives many opportunities for essence exchange.

Most of this happens at levels that you are totally unaware of. So the first thing you must do is become aware. Your healed feelings can tell you of these exchanges.

For a time, boundaries may be necessary. There are those who have been accustomed to taking others' essence, to invading others' space to get their needs met and control the needs of others. Your feelings can tell you when another is draining you or manipulating you in any way. Moving your old pain will set up an impenetrable vibration that will keep you safe. And your feelings can feel into each opportunity for essence exchange and tell you if this is an exchange you want or not.

Conscious Essence Exchange

When you are in a place, with a lover for instance, where you feel safe and want to try experimenting with conscious essence exchange, you can begin with simple physical experiments. Rub your hands together and then hold them a few inches apart. Feel the energy between your hands. Now hold your hand a few inches from your lover's hand. Feel the energy between you. Play with it, push it back and forth between you, rub it in a circle. It may dissipate quickly, or it may hold its shape for quite a while. But this will give you the sensation of essence exchange.

Not all essence exchange is this dense. Sometimes it's quicker than light, a quick thought that flashes into your head that you can't say where it came from. Sometimes it's at the feeling level, a rush of something that you didn't feel before, or not at that intensity. Again, continuing what you're doing at the emotional healing level will tell you if this essence is yours or not. But when you are doing this with another person at the conscious level, the most important thing is intention. If you have conscious intention to share and exchange in the most gentle and careful manner, you will feel all that you feel along the way, and if something comes up that needs tears or expression, you will stop and do the healing work before continuing. This is crucial. Because any exchange you initiate that still has unconscious pain attached to it will act as a vehicle for guilt and other controlling essence to ride in on. Be careful therefore. Get wholly in your own vibration as much as you can, and exchange carefully.

Real Needs

Confusion will arise as to what is a legitimate need. We have come so far from our beginnings, and become so confused about the problem, that the true needs are difficult to recognize. Touching on the deepest need also triggers our deepest fears and angers. So, to avoid these places, we have assigned our need to external things. Food. Money. Power. Sex. We invest heavily in these needs, and the intensity with which we hold onto these things reflects the intensity of our desire not to feel our real deep core needs.

This information will be taken by some as permission to begin making demands on others. And it will be taken by some as a threat, as more guilt requiring us to give and give and give endlessly. It is neither. It is simply a call to be aware of our beginnings, to remember how these things came to be. Keep these things in mind as you relate to each other, and take every opportunity to delve deeply into your fears and needs and fear of being needed.

These feelings go right down to the core of creation and that is what must be healed so that true relating can begin, free of guilt and pressure, with all of us getting our needs met and feeling satisfaction in being alive. Because there are some now who believe that being alive is not worth it, who have been used and drained dry and controlled for so long that they are on the point of going out of existence. If one small bit goes out of existence, it will become a black hole that sucks all of life in with it. If things do not change, this essence will choose death, and frankly, it has that right. There is no rightness in requiring one part of creation to live in constant abuse and starvation while others control and abuse. That is not living.


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