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Healing Fragmentation - - The Journey Toward Wholeness
So far, I remember one past lifetime as a witch. This lifetime came out during a past life regression while undergoing RoHun Therapy. I was a very powerful witch, but I was very unattractive. I came from a long line of witches and my two older sisters in this lifetime were my two older sisters then. They raised me because my mother had died when I was young. They were jealous of me because I was much more powerful than they were and they realized this while I was still young which led to my being mistreated by them. They lived together and never married. I was also married to the same man I'm married to now.
I was not persecuted as a witch by society, but I kept a pretty low profile just the same. The overall undercurrent of this lifetime was very sad. I was deeply depressed throughout my entire life...it was a general melancholia that overshadowed everything. I felt vulnerable, unloved and unappreciated; although I felt myself to be very loving... in a sad, forlorn kind of way.
I lived in England, Ireland, Belgium or somewhere thereabouts it feels like. There were cobble stone streets and horses and carriages. My husband and I owned and operated a store that sold witch paraphernalia, such as eye of newt, spells and potions, etc. We lived above the storefront and I had my workshop in the basement where I spent most of my time. The business did well and we were prosperous, but we pretended otherwise. My husband was a bit aloof and unable to show me affection. I sensed that he respected me, but was frightened of my power. He never said this and we never discussed it. He did not seem to be concerned with how I looked and I feel he loved me in his own way, but not in the way I wanted to be loved.
Being as I was so homely, I stayed to myself with only my cats as companions while I concocted my brews and prepared my spells, etc., in the basement. Animals naturally gravitated to me and I had quite a few cats inside and dogs outside. I could shape-shift into any animal. I would often turn into a mouse or a cat and go out in the woods where I would turn back into my normal self so I could watch the birds and other wild animals come right up to me and I could feel their unconditional love as I healed them of any illnesses and manifested food for them. I needed their attention and unconditional love and it felt wonderful to me. I basically stayed alive for them and my guilt at leaving my husband alone if I died.
I was able to heal animals, but I stayed away from healing people because I found they were much too complicated. I found out early on that a lot of them didn't want to be healed and I couldn't consciously override their inner desire to be sick, so I steered clear of that by not attempting to heal them. My healing abilities were only known by my husband and his family and my sisters.
I remember using a mirror to caste a spell to make myself look pretty when I was needed in the store to answer questions or whatever. Somehow I was able to make myself look like whatever the perceiver believed to be a pretty woman. I was able to use their own imagination to create my image in their minds. My husband was perturbed by this because people in the town would argue about what color my hair and eyes were and would come to him to settle the argument, and he knew that both people were right because I looked like what they imagined a pretty woman would look like. He was ever the diplomat, but he had a time with this problem and I eventually had to create a spell that he could use to make the people forget what they came in the store for when they started asking these kinds of questions.
We never had children because I was afraid they would be ugly like me. My husband outlived me, but he was ever faithful and loyal to me and never remarried. I eventually chose to die in my mid 30's because I was so unhappy in my isolation and depression. I planned my death without telling my husband and slipped out one night to never return. I had great guilt about this, but thought it was the best way to handle it. I drank a potion I had made and swam out into the center of a lake where I floated until it took effect. I had asked the water sylphs to make me one with them and the water upon my death and they did. My body was never found. So much love and so much power...gone.