HEALING AND DEALING ARTICLES
The Emotional Body
Emotional Denial and Emotional Expression
And now for something completely different... I take off my humour hat for
this section to talk about an unavoidably serious healing topic.
How many times have we heard the phrase "Body, Mind, and Spirit"
bandied about? Or how about "the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost", if you
prefer a more traditional way of arranging the players within the phrase? It has
become a boring given that our culture has sidestepped or looked past the
feminine principle. The feminine principle, the Mother energy, is inextricably
linked to emotions. She-in-us, regardless of gender, is our emotional body,
among other qualities with soft, purring features like desire and receptivity and
intuition. And, let's face it, this emotional side of who she is has been thoroughly
denied in most of us, even in women.
As consciously growing adults, many of us have started edging towards
acceptance of our emotional reality. We are starting to notice when we are angry,
sad, feeling hurt,or scared. Sometimes. Other times, we just know we don't feel
good, but we don't know why. And underneath our so-called negative emotional
backlog of anger, fear, and grief that we so often don't even know is there until it
gets triggered, lies the gold... denied joy, spontaneity, laughter, childlikeness. It
seems the nature of the beast that when we deny the hard feelings, the ones we'd
like to experience go away as well, to one degree or another. The spontaneous and
joyful gifts of childhood are the casualties of inner and outer repression.
Denial is hereditary, passed down through generations. As our society
matures, many parents are no longer swatting their children for emotionally
expressing sound, as many of our parents and their parents did ... still, the
encouragement to deny expression is everywhere. It's there in the well-meaning
parent joggling a baby to "help her stop fussing", it's there in distracting young
children with tv and videos and food rewards if they would just quiet down, it's
there in laws and social mores that discourage adults from being outwardly
emotional, especially if it's loud.
The "why's" of our misfired lives are hidden underneath the emotions and
often can't be accessed mentally until the anger, grief, hurt or fear has had its
emotionally expressive say. I have found many clear understandings about what
is going on with me after I've expressed emotion, but could not find that level of
clarity beforehand, no matter how much I tried to get clear before expressing my
Find safe ways to express that do not verbally or
physically harm you or others. Hit soft things, yell into down pillows to block
your sound if sound safety is an issue. Ask your higher power to fill you with
loving light. Form peer healing circles, and uncover your own denial within that
group; this can be a do-it-yourself process with the occasional support of those
who do the same thing in their lives. A therapist is not always necessary.
Give yourself safe, proactive triggers, so that it is not always life's hardships
in your face that are putting you through your paces. I've made tapes of triggering
music and lit candles and prayed in order to trigger the pain I knew was lurking
and impacting on my life every day. Surrender to what rises in you with as little
control as possible on the expression. If triggered by another in the space, move
away from them when possible, unless the two of you have a longstanding
agreement to do this kind of interpersonal work together and are each willing to
feel the "cascade" of back'n'forth triggering along with the leaking blame that
spews inevitably as the sparks fly upward. Taking responsibility for your
involvement in each and every controversy is important.
I am currently working on expanding these articles into a book, which I would prefer to self-publish for many reasons. If the material resonates for you and you would like to support its birthing process by making a donation to help cover publishing expenses, ask questions, make a
comment or simply get on the mailing list, please contact me at email@example.com. Donations can be made to that address via StormPay, or to IntGold ID 12022. Thanks for reading!
Peter Cloud Panjoyah, British Columbia, May 2004
All material copyright 1997-2004 Panjoyah