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Oh Krys My daughter What does that mean? Guilt says, a life sentence to serve An obligation to love But guilt does not tell the truth But the opposite of the truth With an unloving twist I try to resist the casual fist Of guilt. Dearest child you are a woman now I am sorry for the pain I see you going thru I wish it could be different I wish everything for you But you are twenty two And I'm so far away I live in places I cannot escape I speak a different language Share another's fate For me, it's just too late I can't be what you want I don't know what you want And I never guess right anyway And you can tell me til You're blue in the face That I'm a total disgrace To the mothering race And it makes me want to say What is wrong with this picture? But it always hurts Like a blow to the heart By a poisonous dart And it feels like the start Of my death knell I can't tell if that's true But what should I do? I really must live this Time or this is the End of time For me. No more rebirths for us now These are the last times We'll have this way Dear child, I have to go away Won't ask you to leave the nest You can keep what you have But I cannot survive In that world anymore I tried to before and it Killed me somehow. When these words make sense To you, if they ever do Perhaps you will forgive me And seek me out. It's time to let go For each other to grow You are a young woman Much more empowered than I In so many ways. You are having a crisis Scary feelings inside you You are guilty and frightened You want me to hold you Yet I have to let go I don't know how to show you And you can't take it in right now I may not call you til the End of time This is a crazy poet rhyme Your uncle is not the only one Who lives on the edge Though I'm on the wild side Of sane Nobody can catch me And I know how to speak The language of the heart They cannot lock me up But they won't help me either And do not point at Peter As the one who should work Don't call him a shirker For he follows me And he lives in my world He is the other side of me And he needs to be free Just as I do We are two peas in a pod Camping out at God's doorstep Living in soft places We cannot take the hard And that is your domain You are in the right place for you You capricorn moon You love the hard The difficult The challenging But guilt is biting your butt And I wonder how much that Informs what you do? I admire you so much I watch you like an actress on a screen Applauding wildly Your mother is dead I am sad to tell you She passed the baton along to me. She didn't live very long Just twenty-two years But she treid so very hard, my dear. Guess she burned herself out With all of that guilt I'd like to be your friend But I'm not the sort you usually choose And I have to say, neither are you To me. I love you but I can't relate to Your goals Or touch soul to soul In the ways that I could back then It was so easy to be mommy But it was a time sensitive job And time's up. It's time to let go If you were my friend Instead of my child Perhaps you would have Recognized and received The song I wrote As a passionate declaration Of love and support for you. But it came in a form that Didn't feel good. I don't know what to say about that. Maybe we are not meant To be friends in the end.
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