searching for wholeness
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Q & A
See Also: Frequently Asked Questions About Crying

Who are you?

A small group of people who cry. There are 3 of us in the core group who have been focusing almost exclusively on emotional/soul healing since 1966. We also have many friends and visitors who have contributed valuable things to the site. We don't follow any one creed or group or philosophy or religion, although we have incorporated bits and pieces of many things into our peculiar personal paradigm. The Path of Tears is what we walk. The only thing we're completely devoted to is the healing of the soul. We don't believe it's possible to know the whole truth about anything until we ourselves are fully whole. The material on this website is all aimed at that one goal.

There's so much on this site, can you give it to me in a nutshell?

The two key words are wholeness and balance.

BALANCE: The world and the people in it are hugely out of balance. For a long time the world has believed that the soul, and the emotional realm the soul rules, are childish, untrustworthy, unevolved, and even evil. Something to leave behind or rise above. We have elevated spirit, mind, and scientific things to an extremely high level, and relegated the soul, emotions, intuition and all things feminine to a state of poverty, degredation and slavery. When emotions are not allowed to express as they need to, they become twisted, distorted, hideous and cruel. They act out in violent and self-defeating ways, therefore Mind/Spirit has felt justified in continuing its supression and judgments of the Soul/Emotions. We need to stop the judgments and the suppression. We need to understand how the soul works, accept that it is fundamentally different from the mind/spirit in its processes, and allow it to heal and evolve as IT needs to.

WHOLENESS: In order to survive in a world that doesn't accept emotions, most of us have tried to suppress our feelings. Our soul parts go into a state of denial, hidden in the attic of our sub/unconscious. Often these parts become inaccessible to us. Then, a) we no longer know what we feel, and b) we lose the gifts that the soul should bring to our lives. When a person experiences a large amount of pain, shock or trauma, they can even fragment, break apart, and lose parts of their own emotional body. These lost parts, whether in suppression in the attic or fragmented away, need to be healed in order to bring us back to a state of wholeness and balance.

I agree that my emotions at birth were probably the best barometer of the truth. But now I'm clouded by years of old pain. How can I trust my feelings now?

When emotions are not allowed to process naturally, they build up in the unconscious, layer upon layer. Each unhealed bit of pain freezes in the moment, and continues to live in that (past) moment until it is allowed to express and heal. The mind can choose to "move on". The emotions cannot. So we often find ourselves responding to the present from a part of ourselves that is still living in a painful past. The only way to bring these parts to the present so we can receive the gifts of their true knowing and intuition, is to allow them to heal from the past pains. Allowing the soul to move in the ways it needs to - emotional things must heal in emotional ways - will unfreeze all our parts, allow them to evolve and come into the present, and bring us to wholeness.

We firmly believe that the soul and the emotions are the greatest unused gift we have, and when healed, will always help us know the truth.

Isn't it a bad thing to "force" yourself to cry?

We don't recommend forcing emotional expression at all. This is a common misunderstanding with people just starting out on this path. Our goal is to free the emotional body to be able to express as it needs to, in its most natural way. It's quite easy to say "just express". It's another thing entirely to be able to do it. For most people the soul, or emotional body, is imprisoned, and the walls of that prison are made up of years and years of resistance and judgments and fears. In order to free the soul and return to a state of natural emotional expression, we must understand the prison, and we must have tools for breaking down the walls.

That doesn't necessarily mean taking a sledgehammer to our resistance. Methods like EST in the seventies used sledgehammer type methods to break down the walls of resistance. And this method may work for some people ... and for some issues. But usually what happens is the emotional body receives the blow as new damage, and there is a self-protective response that eventually builds the walls of the prison stronger and taller. That's why these type of tools don't work long-term.

In order to get around our walls of resistance, we need to be clever, and persistant, not forceful. If you're having trouble getting to ignition, try some of our techniques. If one technique isn't working, try something else. If nothing is working, it may be time to back away from the wall and relax. Rest. Allow. As with many things, the harder you push, the more your resistance pushes back. Sometimes you have to take a step back and let everything relax. And trust that life itself will bring you the triggers you need when it's the right time to work on something. It's inexorable and inevitable.

Why would I want to start on this path, when it's so painful?

It's the only way to true wholeness, and true freedom. Claiming one's power is only possible when we have all of our SELF intact.

Do you offer seminars or workshops?

Not at this time. We have held workshops in the past, and may start again sometime in the future.

Can you help me get started?

You can do the healing process with a friend, or by yourself with a pillow and a box of kleenex. Getting past your own resistance may be hard by yourself sometimes, so it is helpful to have a friend or family member to work with. We know there are times when it's just not possible to go forward without someone there with you, helping you get past the roadblocks, and holding space for you to express within.

There are some groups out there doing good emotional healing work. The Primal Therapy Institute is one place to start, although for many people the cost is prohibitive. And going straight to the Insititute is no guarantee that you'll find a good therapist. You might want to check out the Primal Support Yahoo Group and see if anyone there can point you to a good therapist or helper.

Therapist shopping can get expensive. But finding a therapist that will let you cry is essential. Talking does no good, except as a trigger, except as a means to bring yourself to ignition (tears).

You could also look for a Co-Counseling group in your area. The RC group itself has gotten a bad rap, because the founder had sexual power patterns. But there are good groups out there, and good co-counselors to be found. And co-counseling doesn't cost an arm and a leg.

But neither a group or a therapist is necessary. In fact, we recommend that if you go to one of these groups or therapies, you don't enlist for life. Stick a toe in the water, enough to learn the process for yourself. If you're going to become dependent, become dependent on your own soul, who knows the way you need to go to find healing. It's too easy to get locked into group-mentality and rely entirely on someone else for the "answer". If you find yourself dealing with inner/outer circle issues, us-them issues, right/wrong ways of doing things, etc., then it's probably time to leave the situation.

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