None of us is whole and inviolate.|
Any place where we are missing essence or don't have full acceptance for ourselves, we are vulnerable to invasion by other energies.
What we currently think of as Self is actually a combination of many different parts. Some of those parts are ours, some are not.
Some of those parts are seeking life and healing and expression. Some are not. Some are seeking death and guilt and denial.
What has made it so difficult to discern what is SELF and what is NOT-Self, is the veil that exists between soul and mind, the isolated quality of our point of consciousness, our ignorance (or refusal to see), and the invading entities' cleverness in masquerading as a part of us.
Parts is Parts is Parts
Most of us are functioning in the middle ground of our being, and that is where all these various parts live until they heal and become integrated into our core.
Throughout a normal day, our point of consciousness moves and shifts around in this middle ground, moving from part to part. To our conscious awareness, the shift may be barely noticeable. It may feel like a vague awareness of conflicting feelings. But for the most part, as the point of consciousness rests on each part, the mind will perceive that part as "me".
And quite often, once our point of consciousness has moved on to a new part, all other parts are temporarily forgotten. This may be partly a coping mechanism. After all, if we were all consciously aware of these many shifts and parts within us, we would probably think we were crazy.
I believe this is happening in the world right now, however... a sort of enforced awakening. There is both an increase in the number of new parts within each of us, as more and more essence tries to come home for healing, and a decrease in the ability to "forget". If we're not aware of what's happening, or have no way to cope with this phenomenon, we may well go crazy.
Personality - Layers of Self
Self-Image, The Painted Mirror
Thoughts on Fragmentation
Ego and Boundaries
And Some Parts Is Not|
But here's the kicker. Some of these parts that you perceive as "you" may not actually be YOU.
For me this was a frightening thought and yet, it also brought comfort and relief. At first I became terrified that something other than "me" was occasionally in charge of my actions. And I was terrified that I couldn't tell ME from NOT-ME. But it was also a relief. Something I had known at a very deep subliminal level was finally brought to light. It helped me understand why my depression wasn't lifting, even after months and months and MONTHS of crying. It helped me to understand the feeling I had at times that someone or something was pushing on me, nudging me toward MORE fear, or MORE hopelessness.
Something was trying to keep me down, and was feeding on my energies and denied emotions. And this awareness allowed me to start freeing myself.
Denial Spirits, Asuras, Demons, and Other Bad Things
Some things invade us and actively try to take our space. They are essence of unloving light that lives in hidden dark corners of the middle ground. They enter through the holes we all have in our outer layer, wherever we are missing our own essence or have a lack of acceptance for ourselves. They love to occupy the space of our middle ground, as much of it as they can, and they can be relentless in their efforts to keep us from reclaiming our inner territory.
I have envisioned this essence as sort of prehistoric bat-spiders, with large nasty teeth. But when they invade my cells, they can become very small and blend in with shadows and hide behind my pain. They are very hard to see directly. They love to poke at my pain and trigger me into fear or rage, but their aim is not to allow actual movement of the pain. Quite the opposite. They only want to stimulate/manipulate me into acting in a pattern. They can influence how I see an event by casting a fog in front of my eyes. They can keep me dancing on the edge of a knife by playing guilt tunes and triggering my self-hate.
|What to do About It|
Awareness of these things within is the first step.
The challenge for those of us who desire healing and wholeness, is to learn to discern what is our own essence and what is not. And it is a challenge. The issue is made even more confusing by the problem of fragmentation. We may all be a mixture of essence from many different beings, essence that is trying to find healing and expression and life.
If I'm a mixture of beings, then how do I know which one is really ME?
There's Only One Way: Become Whole by Healing ALL Your Emotions
Develop your core, bring in all lost and broken and fragmented essence and allow it to cry to full healing. When we are whole, we will each vibrate in our own way... dance to the beat of our own drum. No one else's vibration will be quite the same as yours. Once you begin to move your emotions, the vibrations begin, and more and more of your own lost essence will be drawn to your drumbeat. And, the more you have your own true essence with you, dancing to your own true rhythms, the less other essences will be able to live within you.
This is how it feels to me...
Once I start to cry, once I begin to vibrate my middle ground, the hold these entities have on me is loosened. I cry the terror or rage they cling to, and they can't maintain their grip on it. They must leave. I cry and I vibrate the very foundation they stand on, the floor beneath them dissolves with my tears and they disappear. I grab hold and cry with great gushing tears and shake the tree the spider-creatures cling to and they fall to the ground and scamper off. They cannot live in the space where my Soul is vibrating.
This is probably the most important thing you can do -- let your emotions express. Cry your rage and terror and grief and hopelessness. Feel everything there is inside you to heal. Little by little, the parts in your middle ground that are yours will heal and be incorporated into your core. And the parts that are not yours will drift away.
Cleanse & Protect
There are some truly harmful energies, and essences that have been within us for a long time, or are so embedded and hidden that getting them out may require some additional work and help.
I find it helpful to do regular "cleansing" of foreign energies and essences. Until I am fully healed and whole, I know I still have holes in my awareness and boundaries, and I am vulnerable to invasion in those places. Setting up a bubble of protection is a good idea too.
This is where imaging comes into play. Imaging is a very powerful tool when used in service to your emotional healing process. The pictures that come to you spontaneously when you go inside or while you're crying are the best, but if you're having trouble getting pictures, here are some ideas to start with:
Picture yourself as a large tree. Invading energies are like monkeys, clinging to your boughs. Imagine loving light sweeping through your boughs like a great wind, shaking the monkeys, loosening their grip. Imagine the mother's power surging up through your roots deep in her earth, giving you the power to vibrate from within. Now your entire tree-body is shaking and swaying and dancing, and the monkeys can't hold on. One by one, they are shaken loose. The winds of loving light catch them and take them away.
Picture yourself standing in the middle of a large, fine-mesh net. Ask loving light and mother light to help rid you of all energies and essences and devices that do not belong to you or with you. Now picture some "helpers", such as little cherubs or fairies or angels (whatever imagery works best for you), picking up the edges of the net and lifting it. As it rises, it passes through your body, capturing all kinds of little things that do not belong in you. Your helpers bring the net edges together at the top, as they pass your head, so the stuff they've "captured" doesn't escape, and then they fly off with all the bad stuff. If the stuff is particularly bad or large, sometimes I imagine my helpers coming back and cleaning out the area of my body where the stuff had been, just to make sure there's none left.
Please notice that in this imagery, you don't have to KNOW what is or is not "YOU". At first you won't be able to tell the difference, so you need to ask for help from God and the Mother to help discern that for you. The reason for this is that most of us don't yet have the overview or understanding to really determine what is ours and what is not. It's entirely possible that we, in our frustration and lack of understanding, might try to throw out a part that we don't like, but that is really our own to heal. So, don't try to determine that, let God and the Mother make those decisions. Trust that they know what is yours and what is not.
Fill the space with light. After a cleanse, I ask loving light to fill the space where I don't have all of myself yet. Sometimes I see this as Mother's golden energy, in the form of golden putty, which gently fills in my gaps and holes and soothes my wounded places.
Set up some protection. Once you've done a cleanse, you should set a bubble of protection in place. I highly recommend regular cleansing and protecting as an important part of your healing process.