searching for wholeness
There is a web that hovers over and around our planet... interlocking spires of stickyness, a tapestry woven out of our own denials. We cannot pretend it doesn't exist. We cannot pretend it is an illusion. It IS real. What we CAN do is cry our pain, own our denied emotions, all of them.
Do not fear any part of you, bring all of your self within and let each piece cry through you and with you and become a part of you again. Little by little, as the energy/essence of these denied parts comes home to you to heal, you will see their energy/essence drop away from the web. It is this that holds the web together. Your own denials are the walls of your prison. Your own living parts have been used to weave the web. There is no other way out. Move the pain. FEEL the hatred of others, cry the terror of death and the deep self-hatred buried in you long ago.
You are held in this web like flies ... stuck and drugged into sleep. The web covers you like a blanket and uses your own denial to keep you asleep. It lulls and murmers, promising comfort and peace if you will only comply, quit fighting, accept the structure ... like a good little soldier. If that doesn't work, it taunts you with your own self-hate and guilt. Two of the most powerful tools it has to use against you. If that doesn't work, it threatens you with pictures that stir your terror. Pain, torture, death.
In order to wake up from this sleep it is essential that you remember who you are. You must remember ALL of yourself. It is that simple. And yet it is very complex. To find all the ways the web holds you in thrall would take a lifetime. The evidence of it is in your lives, your limitations. Look and see... how are you blocked and boxed in and kept down and limited? It's not necessary to find all the tiny threads of the web in you... it is only necessary to begin to wake up. To begin to stir. Remember. Somewhere deep within you there is a memory of music and color and magic and plenty. There is a deep longing within you for something you may believe is only a dream. It is not a dream. THAT is true awakeness.
Waking up won't be a quick or easy transition. I have great fear of this time. For some of you, there will be a period of clawing and fighting against the chains that bind. It will be easier for you if you stop often, let yourselves cry. I do not say don't fight, for that is your nature, and you are an important part of the vanguard. But I do want to caution you. if you do not stop and cry, frequently, daily if possible, you will be caught in the web by your own denials and brought down by your own reversals. Acknowledge and feel your fear, especially your fear of failure, and the self-hate that lies beneath it. For those are the things the enemy will use against you to try to keep you down.
It will help if you can think of the web as a living thing. It IS made up primarily of your own parts. Your own denied essence. The enemy has woven his web very cleverly. He has convinced your denied essence that YOU are the enemy, and all attempts to break the web will feel to them like a personal attack. Some of this essence is quite awake, but thoroughly brainwashed and believing the web is reality. But much of the essence there is asleep or in a coma, kept alive just enough so that their essence continues to feed the web. Rescue them! My heart cries. Rescue them!
Since there is still so much of you in brainwashed bondage, it is best if you can run your war quietly. Let your main weapon be tears. Let your chief target be the denied essence that sleeps. It can still hear you. Call to it. Tell it you long for it and want healing. Since this essence is the least awake, it therefore is not in The Enemy's eye as much, and the possibility for reversal is less. These parts are broken Soul -- your fear, your anguish, your heartbreak, your rage -- call to them, draw them to you and let them cry. Do not target the soldiers you see in the foreground. These are also your parts, yes, but these parts are so full of rage and twisted denial that they are The Enemy's main tools.
The more essence you pull back from the web, the weaker the web will become. This won't happen overnight. At first - like right now - you will feel like nothing is changing and hopelessness will threaten to overwhelm you. Please don't give up. Even the soldiers can be brought back and healed, once they feel the floor slipping out from under them. You will draw back the primary essence that holds the web in place. You will then be able to build a new world.
This sounds very airy fairy. You want day to day living advice. That is very hard for me to do, since solutions, proper solutions, should come from your own Soul. So, then, this is my advice. Ask your Soul for help. Ask your Spirit for help. And ask God for help. The help may not come in a way you like or expect.
Until all your denial and backlog has been healed, you will not be able to fully connect to the big picture.
Forget magic seeming solutions, like gambling or winning the lottery. Those things make you instantly, HIGHLY visible and the web will close around you as surely as you breathe. And I do not recommend withdrawing from your governments in any visible or revolutionary way.
Right now, it's like you are working in a fog, a dense cloud surrounds you, and just a few steps in any direction will be clear sky. Your primary job is twofold: heal your denied essence, and stay alive to heal your denied essence. It's not necessary for you to be rich or live in a mansion. That is not the primary goal here. The goal is to remember. Heal. Cry. Wake up. All you have to do is bring in enough food and shelter to be comfortable while you heal, cry, remember and wake up.
To that end, you may have to do things WITHIN the web, for a time, that you do not like. For a time a compromise is needed. Find something you can do that does not feel like swift and certain death. Find something you can do from home, in the safety of your own room, if possible. Enlist the help of your spirit parts to find a solution. Then let your Soul express how it feels about that solution. It will be good practice, as well as good triggering.
The backlog in your feelings is clogging and clouding your Soul's ability to find creative solutions. How do you plow through that backlog? One way to get things moving is through your imagination. The imagination is one of the least filtered doorways to your Soul. You can send messages to your Soul, in the same way your Soul can send messages to your consciousness through dreams and visions.
Try to think of something you want, to do or be or have. Imagine in your mind having that thing or doing it or being it. Try to imagine it as vividly as possible, make it real to your subconscious. Do this every day for a period of days. I guarantee things will begin to erupt within you. One of two things will happen. Either you will instantly feel the pain that is blocking this from becoming reality and you will cry, or you will see the pain outpictured in your reality in some way. It depends on how blocked your concious mind is from your Soul.
By this process you stir your denied pain, and it begins to rise up and be alive. It automatically seeks a way to heal and express. If you listen and feel it and allow it to cry, it does not need to use any other means to get your attention. If you turn away and pretend it's not there, the pain in your subconscious/denied emotions, will find a way to get your attention. I urge you to try the first road. I URGE you to listen. Knowing full well that some of the blocks in place are below your awareness. They cannot always just be brushed aside. You cannot magically start to "listen" after years of ignoring and denying. But your intent to listen and feel the pain, combined with the living Will in denial pushing toward your consciousness from the other side will in time, break through the barriers.
And in time, withdrawing our essence from the web will weaken it, and eventually, it will crumble. We cannot fail, with our tears, we will prevail.